Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh god it's open bar.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
