2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
