Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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