she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize