So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I need moral support for this bender
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
