Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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