dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he's gonorrhea incarnate
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
