Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
