but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
