scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
nutella sex= disaster
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
