I just threw up on my dentist
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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