Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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