It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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