We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
