Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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