glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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