So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
