Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
