theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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