hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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