This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
