JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
