Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
