I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
