Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
A+ Viking dick
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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