NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
