I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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