I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
