you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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