were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
