My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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