I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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