I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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