Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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