Quick, to the slutcave!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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