The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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