To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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