Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
