Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
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I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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