Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
