You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
