I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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