just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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