everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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