After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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