We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
