Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm always down for nudity.
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