She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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