I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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