I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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