Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
