i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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