Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
