So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
