I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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