drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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