Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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