is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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