Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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