Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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