Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
