so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
