i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
