If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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