we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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