hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
