Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
