official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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