he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
