His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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